About 3 years since my return from my mission.

By Johnny K. Ros

       As soon as you click on this link I just want to appreciate you for taking time to read about my experience as a return missionary. I promise that as you read of this you'll understand what's been going on in my life as I've been back from Cambodia after a few years. I just want to let you guys know on the way that this post is subject to change on the way, yet this will reflect what I experienced so far in my life. You may mostly read a lot about 2019. This is the most important year of my life. Here's why:

I was able to attend my homeward's assigned temple often such as the Palmyra, NY temple.

       This is probably the year I attend the Temple most frequently, hoping to attend more next year. Why I find this so important to reflect because since October 2019, I was finally able to seal my grandparents in my mom's side. It's one of the most sacred moments I ever experienced in my entire life, I refuse to disregard this, as I continue to build upon my testimony. On top of this I get to celebrate by visiting Tom Wahl's .... delicious burgers. I will not forget the time I was able to finally perform such a sacred ordinance for my grandparents such as the sealing. I could feel how proud my Heavenly Father is for me on making the choice to become a worthy temple recommend holder for this significant reason, even though there's way more sacred work to do in the temple. It wasn't easy, but I chose to change positively for the best moving on, because I know that I am needed still. Plus, I know that Heavenly Father's counting on me to get more done in this life.

I became mentally healthy again.

       I remember when I was absolutely depressed and hated everything as soon as I returned from my mission, I was pretty lost at first as I tried a job out, attend college, and honestly even attending church. I had so many stigma's in my brain that caused me to remain the person who I was NOT suppose to be. I keep getting the ridiculous questions or statements in my head like "Do you have a girlfriend yet?", "Why aren't you married yet?", "Why can't you simply return back to Cambodia since you missed it so much?", "Want to marry a Khmer woman?", "Oh marry a Khmer woman, they're easier to handle!".... these were killing me mentally causing my neurons to remain negative, including the times when I faced so much confusion which doesn't help at all when I had my first few semesters of college. Don't get me wrong, no questions are silly or stupid. However, I learned in life that I am not entitled to marriage immediately, that's a ridiculous thing people should expect as they return from their mission not everyone is entitled to that immediately, look at me I have so much to get done. The only exception is if they're ready to get married already, great for them, I am happy for them. However, I KNOW AS OF TODAY, God's got a different plan for me. Whatever goes on in my life is what is it is, let me explain in detail of how I finally became mentally healthy again.

      It all started when I was aware that Lindsey Stirling had a concert going on at Syracuse, NY, at The Great New York State Fair in 08/23/2019. I waited at the Chevy Court for a total of 13 hours just to see her close up because I really care for this artist on this day, not just because she's a living inspiration, but she's a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, someone I can relate too. I loved Lindsey Stirling since the release of the songs Crystallize and Elements, which was about a decade or less ago. I love electronic, techno music too. Truth is she's my true all time celebrity crush, not Emma Watson, that was a joke... when I was at the Provo Missionary Training Center for about 4 years ago.

   

     As the time come for her concert to happened she shared something super important that I made a choice to commit as of right now moving on. She shared that one of her life hack secrets was gratitude by forming a gratitude journal two years ago, and emphasized that it's been game changing in her happiness. As she encourages it, I took it very seriously. After a Young Single Adult Church activity which happened the next day after her concert, I decided to shop myself a gratitude journal so I can just write down 3 things I am grateful for and one positive thing that's happened throughout that day as an option. As I was doing this, something later on became implemented in my brain that I feel that my neurons keep doing causing it to keep flipping back to the positives instead of the negatives, I've never became this happy again in my life besides the time when I served my mission. 

     Because of it, I changed much more as much as people think. Let me explain in the next thing another highlight of 2019.

I finally dropped 65 pounds and deleted Obesity.

       I've had this problem for over 10 years, and the year 2019 marks the time that I finally defeated Obesity, without anything in the way, I didn't want anybody have anything to do with my grind to better myself except those who knows what their sharing with me works. As my sister emphasized that I can use the YMCA to exercise in later on in the fall semester, and all of the positivity going on in my life so far. I decided to propose to a challenge to Obesity in a death match for an entire semester in a steel cage like the WWE, we did... the stipulation if lose I stay obese for the rest of my life, if I win I get to keep this body for the rest of my life as my temple. You guys may see this as a weight loss journey, but I look at it way differently. I learned that my adversity was obesity as I prayed for what lack I yet? So, I discovered that it was my health. As the semester goes on, I experimented with my first mark that I dropped 30lbs in my social media, many were amazed by this result including a Area 70 who was my stake president in the church, as I was encouraged to keep going, I did, making the habit to keep posting that I've been working out by deleting depression and becoming better than myself. As I done my research I discovered, that I need to weigh less than 180lbs enable to overcome this adversity. One of my former companions from my mission noticed that I am changing slowly as I lose 30lbs at first, so he shared with me a way I can make sure I workout evenly with my muscles groups, as I do so until 12/10/2019. That's when the true results came in not just because of my former companion slotting a weekly routines as part of my grind, my mentality changed. That's the key!

        As soon, as my mind became open I heard a voice saying "There's nothing that this man hasn't done in his life so far, even as a return missionary, except beat me!!" that's by Obesity itself.  This is what I meant when I make this beyond personal, I didn't want any negativity in my way, including the treatment my step-dad gives, I give no craps about his negativity, I learned from my choices and made sure I give this effort 110%. This will never happen if it weren't for a method that keep my mentality at good health, stacking along with my physical wellness. Obesity is a major symptom of depression so I took it upon myself to delete it for good!

I gave Lindsey Stirling my "Thank you" in person.

      Besides wanting to see her perform one more time on 12/10/2019. I shared in my social media that there's so many positive things that's been happening in my life as time goes on in this year. I didn't think it was a good idea for me to go see her one more time at Rochester, NY because the occasion (Warmer in the Winter Christmas Tour) seems a bit pricy and it seems to be a major risk because of Upstate New York weather back then at first. So, I prayed about it and was told by spiritual impression to go ahead.... sounds crazy right? So, I heed the answer and I realized that I didn't want to just see Lindsey Stirling perform one more time this year, I need to give her my "Thank you" person to person because what she shared with the audience in Syracuse, NY in 08/23/2019, was a ginormous deal to me as I took her seriously seeing things I have in common with her too. Even though, she may not remember sharing that life hack secret, knowing she's a superstar in YouTube, and a Electronic, Dancing, Violinist that travels all over the world to share her beautiful talent. I love her forever because of how much she cares for everybody as she travels as she performs and she definitely impacted my life moving on as of today as I was encouraged to make a gratitude journal and use it. I am so eternally grateful for this because I am myself again. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't make such a 180 degree change in my life so much. 

       I know what I've done in this year was one of the most impossible things I ever did, yet because I was mentally cured majority of the time. Not, only I was happy with the result of the death match I fought so hard in, but I was happy that I returned back as the person I needed to be, not alone, besides bringing Elder Ros back, he bought back something that's a force that's not to be reckoned with and that's "The Khmerican CyberKing" Johnny Ros. Keep me in your prayers, thoughts or meditations, because I worked so hard to find myself, this version of Johnny Ros, the one that loves himself.

      Thanks for reading this and I hope you all have a blessed Happy New Year of 2020!